food blog

WHAT'S TO EAT?

Being surrounded by mountains and native forest is beautiful, I would even go so far as to call it a necessity for my sense of well-being, but it does seem to have drawbacks if I don't wish to go entirely native and eat mainly wild forest food. All serious self-sufficiency advocates say that growing food or catching it is fundamental. Food production is basic to survival. Yet after many years of amateur gardening I have never achieved total self sufficiency, not even near it. The odd well-balanced meal produced entirely from my land is an occasion for celebration, although most of the time my meals do have a home-grown component. Salads, herbs, summer berries, fruit and green vegetables seem to be the most successful, but even these seldom escape some form of attack from bad weather or local pests and diseases. I've more or less given up trying to grow any staples except a few different types of potatoes.

Food production is definitely not as easy as I had imagined it would be when I lived in the city and dreamt of a life in the country. Climate and soil type are major factors affecting cultivated crop plants, but so are the myriad forms of fauna and flora that inhabit the same environment. Other plants growing in the vicinity have an impact on what grows and what doesn't. An olive tree that had been growing for several years and set its first good crop this year was completely ringbarked by a giant borer that I was told lives in native bush but obviously enjoys a varied diet. The winter frosts wipe out the subtropical fruits, like bananas and the summer humidity rots the stone fruits, like peaches and plums. Apples seem to do fairly well except for regular attacks by the possum armies that come in waves throughout the year.

I have come to the conclusion lately that food production is a specialized skill that requires years of trial and error, research, experimentation, extreme vigilance and of course, much hard work and good luck with the weather. I now have great respect for those who can produce good crops of any type of food. As for being totally organic, this seems no less than a feat of magic to me, as I find it hard to remember a single crop of mine that has not been affected by some airborne fungi or bug or both, in spite of compost mulches and healthy-looking plants. And after waiting for weeks, months or years for a plant to produce, only to be beaten to the crop by greeblies, it makes me so mad that I want to resort to chemical warfare and blast the hell out of those pesky bastards! But that would hardly solve anything as who wants to eat it after that?
Anyway, despite my lack of regular success, I continue to grow a variety of foodbearing plants and trees in the hope that one day I will achieve that mystical state of self-sufficiency in food production. Cheers to all those hard-working and courageous souls who also aspire to such heights and to the grand masters who have attained. I suspect that I will remain a disciple however as there are not enough hours in the day to achieve all that I would like. Here's a few of my current food projects.

BEANS

My Dad gave me some beans several years ago. They are amazing! Completely stringless climbing beans. Heavy crops are normal. Even the older beans are stringless. When you can't keep up with them the pods turn white and they start to dry, leaving the plump beans to harvest and dry for winter soups, ideal with bacon. High in protein and carbs and fairly fartless these are one of the more rewarding crops I have grown. An almost balanced complete food. The only problem is vegetable bugs in late summer. I still haven't found a good way to deal with them. They attack and taint nearly everything in my garden and they really stink when I squash them. Any ideas?

BACON

Ah yes, the bacon. Looks good doesn't it. It's a sad tale of failure. Everything went according to the book. The hunt was successful. The butchering of the wild pig went without a hitch. Making the strong pickling brine, soaking the pig for a couple of weeks in pickling brine, the hanging to drain, the careful wrapping in waxed paper and then muslin, the hanging in a cool place to dry properly. Trouble was, the bathroom was not the right place to hang it, not draughty enough maybe. Anyway, it went mouldy and started to smell weird. Not like bacon. It finally dried out but no-one is game enough to try it. Botulism was mentioned. That really put an end to the great bacon experiment. It's still hanging there, completely odourless, but will probably only be used by a neighbour to bait traps for weasles, if he wants it. Any offers?

BERRIES

This berry garden is just outside the back door, making sure I get to the berries when they're ripe and juicy, just before the birds. There are thornless blackberries, raspberries, boysenberries and strawberries all growing together in a 6 metre row. Summer snacks, yum!

NUTS

Macadamia nuts are well worth the effort. After harvest the outer skin peels off and they are left to dry until the nut inside the shell rattles. They're very hard to crack (I use a hammer) but the nuts are large, sweet and satisfying. They have a taste and texture similar to Brazil nuts.

These Chilean walnuts grow wild around here. They are very hard to crack and there is more shell than nut, but they are really tasty if you've got some spare time. The wild pigs love them and come down at night from the hills when the nuts fall. They eat them whole, shell and all, making loud crunching noises, sounding like large dogs eating bones.

GRAPES

The grapevine is from a seed I saved and planted a couple of years ago. The grapes were bought at the local supermarket, table grapes imported from Chile or California I think. It grew like a triffid under the clear plastic roof of the verandah and the grapes are huge and succulent and much tastier than the originals. The wine was made from another variety in my garden, the grapevine having a large crop of much smaller grapes. Well, you've got to enjoy the fruits of your labour and the results of hard work. What better way than this. 20 litres of the good stuff, hopefully.

BREAD

This is does not really count as homegrown, but it is homemade. I can't stand shop bread, it's like eating cotton wool. No substance, all air and additives that make you more hungry after you've eaten it.

BEER

This probably doesn't count either, but I always feel relaxed and happy after a glass or two of homebrew.